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    #OscarsSoWhite: Der komplette Eröffnungsmonolog von Moderator Chris Rock
    Von Christoph Petersen — 29.02.2016 um 04:11

    Fies, fieser, Chris Rock! Der Oscar-Moderator ist dahingegangen, wo es gerade besonders wehtut – und das ist auch gut so!

    In diesem Jahr wurde zum zweiten Mal in Folge kein einziger nicht-weißer Schauspieler für einen Oscar nominiert. Der Protest-Hashtag #OscarsSoWhite erlangte so noch mehr Bedeutung als im Vorjahr.

    Die Kritik wurde sogar so laut, dass die Academy schon vor der diesjährigen Verleihung Regeländerungen für das kommende Jahr bekanntgab – und dafür nicht nur Lob, sondern auch viel negatives Feedback bekam. Viel zu vorschnell und defensiv sei hier entschieden worden, so der Vorwurf selbst von Hollywoodgrößen wie Steven Spielberg.

    Doch eines war trotz der allgemeinen Verunsicherung immer so sicher wie das Amen in der Kirche: Komiker Chris Rock würde den weißen alten Männern der Academy mit seiner Oscar-Moderation ganz bestimmt ein zweites Arschloch reißen!

    Es ist die 88 Oscarverleihung, was heißt, dieses ganze ‚keine schwarzen Nominierten Ding‘ hat es mittlerweile mindestens schon 71 Mal gegeben. In den 1950ern und 1960ern gab es auch Jahre ohne schwarze Nominierte, aber schwarze Menschen haben nicht protestiert. Warum? Weil es damals noch echte Dinge gab, gegen die wir protestiert haben. Wir waren so beschäftigt damit, vergewaltigt und gelyncht zu werden, dass wir keine Zeit hatten, uns darum zu kümmern, wer für Beste Kamera gewinnt. Wenn deine Großmutter an einem Ast baumelt, dann ist echt schwer, sich um die Beste ausländische Kurzdokumentation zu scheren!


    Aber mit den einfachen Zielen hat sich Rock zum Glück nicht zufriedengegeben – stattdessen haben in seinem zu bestimmt 90 Prozent der #OscarsSoWhite-Debatte gewidmeten Eröffnungsmonolog alle ihr Fett wegbekommen: die Academy, die Protestler, Hollywood, Frauen, die nicht mehr über ihre auffälligen Kleider sprechen wollen.

    Zudem hat er nicht nur die besonders simplen oder besonders fiesen Pointen gesetzt, sondern auch ernsthaftere Passagen eingeschoben, die wirklich dahingehen, wo es wehtut: Als Rock präzise aufdröselt, wie genau Rassismus heute in Hollywood aussieht („sorority racism“), wird es mucksmäuschenstill im Saal. Und zwar nicht, weil es nicht lustig ist, sondern weil jeder weiß, dass Rock den Nagel auf den Kopf getroffen hat.

    Ganz unabhängig davon, wie man nun zu der Debatte steht: Rock hat neben Ellen DeGeneres die energetischste, selbstsicherste, treffsicherste Oscar-Moderation seit etlichen Jahren hingelegt! Da können die gescheiterten weißen Oscarmoderatoren James Franco, Neil Patrick Harris und Seth MacFarlane nur bewundernd staunen.

    Hier gibt es den kompletten Eröffnungsmonolog im Wortlaut:

    I counted at least 15 black people on that montage!

    Well I’m here at the Academy Awards. Otherwise known as the White People’s Choice Awards. You realize, if they nominated hosts, I would’t even get this job! Y’all would be watching Neil Patrick Harris right now.

    But here’s the crazy thing. This is the wildest, craziest Oscars to ever host because we got all this controversy — no black nominees. And people are like: „Chris, you should boycott! Chris, you should quit! You should quit.“ How come it’s only unemployed people that tell you to quit something, you know? No one with a job ever tells you to quit. So I thought about quitting. I thought about it real hard, but I realized: „They’re gonna have the Oscars anyway.“ They’re not gonna cancel the Oscars because I quit! And the last thing I need is to lose another job to Kevin Hart, OK? I don’t need that! Kev makes movies fast! Every month! Porn stars don’t make movies that fast.

    Now the thing is, what are we protesting — the big question: Why this Oscars? It’s the 88th Academy Awards. Which means this whole „no black nominees thing“ has happened at least 71 other times. OK? You gotta figure that it happened in the ‘50s and in the ‘60s — you know like one of those years Sidney didn’t put out a movie, I’m sure there were no black nominees some of those years. Say ’65, ’62 or ’63 — and black people did not protest! Why? Because we had real things to protest at the time. We were too busy being raped and lynched to care about who won best cinematographer. When your grandmother’s swinging from a tree, it’s really hard to care about best documentary foreign short!

    But what happened this year? People went mad! Spike got mad. Sharpton got mad and Jada went mad, Will went mad. Everybody went mad! It’s crazy! Jada went mad. Jada says she’s not coming. Protesting. I’m like: „Ain’t she on a TV show?“ Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties. I wasn’t invited! Oh, that’s not an invitation I would turn down!

    But I understand! I’m not hating. I understand you’re mad. Jada’s mad her man, Will, was not nominated for „Concussion“. I get it. You’re right! It’s also not fair that Will was paid 20 million for „Wild Wild West“! OK?

    This year at the Oscars things are going to be a little different! This year, in the In Memoriam package, it’s just gonna be black people that were shot by the cops on their way to the movies!

    Yes! Yes! I said it, all right? If you want black nominees every year, you need to just have black categories. You already do it with men and women. Think about it! There’s no real reason for there to be a man and a woman category in acting! Come on! It’s not track and field! Robert De Niro’s never said: „I better slow this acting down so Meryl Streep can catch up!“ No! Not at all, man! If you want black people every year at the Oscars, just have black categories. Like: „best black friend“! And the winner for the 18th year in a row is Wanda Sykes!

    Well here’s the real question: Is Hollywood racist? You know, you gotta go at that the right way. Is it burning cross racist? No. Is it „Fetch me some lemonade“ racist? No! It’s a different type of racist. Now I remember one night I was at a fundraiser for President Obama — lot of you were there. And you know it’s me and all of Hollywood. And it’s about four black people there. Me, uh let’s see, Quincy Jones, Russell Simmons, Questlove — you know the usual suspects, right? And every black actor that wasn’t working. Needless to say, Kev Hart was not there, OK?

    So at some point you get to take a picture with the president. And as they’re setting up the picture, you get a little moment with the president. I’m like, „Mr. President, you see all these writers and producers and actors? They don’t hire black people! And they’re the nicest white people on Earth! They’re liberals! Cheese!“ That’s right. Is Hollywood racist? You’re damn right Hollywood’s racist, but not the racist that you’ve grown accustomed to. Hollywood is sorority racist. It’s like, „We like you Ronda, but your not a Kappa.“ That’s how Hollywood is. But things are changing! Things are changing!

    Yeah we got a „Black Rocky“ this year. Some people call it „Creed“, I call it „Black Rocky“. And that’s an unbelievable statement, cause „Rocky“ takes place in a white world, where white athletes are as good as black athletes. „Rocky“’s a science fiction movie. There’s things that happen in „Star Wars“ that are more believable than things that happen in „Rocky“, OK?

    But hey we’re here to honor actors. We’re here to honor film. And there’s a lot of snubs. But one of the biggest snubs no one’s talking about. My favorite actor in the world is Paul Giamatti. Think about what Paul Giamatti has done the last couple of years. Last year he’s in „12 Years A Slave“ — hates black people! This year he’s in „Straight Outta Compton“ — loves black people! Last year he’s whipping Lupita Nyong’o. This year he’s crying at Eazy-E’s funeral! Now that’s range!

    Ben Affleck can’t do that! What I’m trying to say is it’s not about boycotting anything — it’s just we want opportunity. We want the black actors to get the same opportunities as white actors — that’s it! You know. Not just once. Leo gets a great part every year. All you guys get great parts all the time. What about the black actors? Look at Jamie Foxx. Jamie Foxx is one of the best actors in the world, man. Jamie Foxx was so good in „Ray“ that they went to hospital and unplugged the real Ray Charles. It’s like, „We don’t need two of these!“ Everything’s not about race, man.

    Another big thing tonight — somebody told me this — you’re not allowed to ask women what they’re wearing anymore. It’s a whole thing: #AskHerMore. „You have to ask her more! You ask the men more!“ Everything’s not sexism, everything’s not racism. They ask the men more because the men are all wearing the same outfits! Every guy in here is wearing the exact same thing! If George Clooney showed up with a lime green tux on and a swan coming out of his ass, somebody would go: „Whatcha wearing’, George?“
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